A Drunken Sailor
by youmustbeover18
Summary: Not my usual Tiva SMUT, but a very short and sweet Tiva moment from Tony's POV. Very funny and so tiva...


**Disclaimer: Don't own these characters, etc…**

**Not my usual Tiva SMUT, but a very short and sweet Tiva moment from Tony's POV.**

**Tell me what you'd like to hear in a review. It's pretty clear that I want to be Ziva David, and I'm in love with Tony DiNozzo. I won't deny that. Enjoy…**

**A Drunken Sailor with Emphysema**

How could such a tiny person snore like that? She really did sound like a drunken sailor with emphysema. Tony had developed a bit of immunity against her snoring. The trick was to fall asleep first. At this point, they'd shared so many hotel rooms that he could sleep right through the noise. The problems came when he woke up in the middle of the night. It was impossible to fall back asleep with Ziva revving that chainsaw next to him. He'd been lying awake for an hour now.

He swung his legs over the bed and grabbed his computer, setting it down on the small desk in the room. There wasn't even a couch in here! Seriously? No couch, and only 1 bed? They were 2 federal agents on an investigation and the government treated this like they were college kids on a road trip. Only 1 bed! No couch! Not that a couch would have helped. The entire floor was probably shaking from Ziva's snores.

He opened a word document and decided to deal with this like an adult. He'd use his words. Craft a careful argument. Reason the hell out of the situation. OK, how did people do this? He started to type, _"I, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, being of sound body and mind." _He stopped. Damn, that was how you started a will. Well maybe Ziva's snoring would finally kill him. He deleted the line and hovered his fingers above the keys. This wasn't a final draft, he could snowball ideas here. He continued, _"Agent David, sleeps with a gun under her pillow. Misfires do occur. She also uses the extra towel in the bathroom for her hair. This is very inconsiderate." _He pictured Ziva, fresh out of the shower, leaving the bathroom. How did women do that thing with the towel in their hair? It was like some voodoo genie trick that kept that thing wrapped around their heads. And the way she'd lean forward and that towel would magically unravel setting her hair free. He loved that hair. And Tony loved the way she'd use that towel to rub it dry. She worked and twisted her strands between the ends. He secretly hoped that one day the towel around her body would slip loose. Ok, maybe he didn't hate the towel thing. He deleted the part about the towel. He typed, _"Miss David sleeps in unprofessional attire."_ But what would professional pajamas look like? They'd been staying away from home a few extra nights than they'd originally planned. Ziva was sleeping in a shirt she borrowed from Tony with nothing else on but a tiny set of bikini underwear. It might have been a tiny bit his fault since he knocked her sleepwear into a puddle left by his morning shower. They'd still been dripping wet when they returned that evening. Ok, maybe he should delete that too. And the thought of her sleeping in his shirt. She was wrapped in his scent. She would smell like him. He was sidetracked for a while thinking about this.

This was harder than Tony expected. He spun around and looked at the creature currently torturing a moose in her throat. If he could just hit 'mute' she'd be beautiful. Hell, she was still beautiful. Ziva David was still stunning with those noises coming out of her. Maybe that's what Tony was really angry about. This woman had wormed her way into world and he wasn't quite comfortable with it. Tony could handle any woman, but this creature was something else entirely. If he has to sum Ziva David up in a single word it would be '_infuriating'_. Or '_irresistible'_. It was a solid toss up between those two words.

Tony crawled over to Ziva's sleeping form. He propped himself up on an elbow and positioned himself to prepare for her strike. It was always like waking a viper.

"Ziva, wake up," he chanted softly to her.

Instead of attacking him she moaned softly and rolled back into him pinning his arm beneath her head. Tony froze. She was so warm. He panicked and his other hand flew to her forehead. Yes, she was warm. But not feverish. And she actually hadn't killed him yet, even though his arms were caged around her body. Tony held his arm above her at an uncomfortable angle. He was so screwed if she woke up to find his hand hovering above her face. He tried to pull his arm free from underneath her head. Nothing. Maybe he could roll her back the other way. Tony leveraged his free arm onto the mattress around Ziva's body and tried to roll her back. Not working. He needed to push her around. He pushed his body into her back and tried again to roll her forward. Ziva moaned softly again and relaxed further into his body. Now he was pressed flush up against her. His right arm was starting to cramp from the angle he was holding it above her. Now he was beyond screwed. She was too close! He could smell her. Ziva's snores stopped and she started trembling. Was she talking in her sleep? She was mumbling under her breath. Tony couldn't help his curiosity and brought his head closer to hear what she was saying. Must be Hebrew. Ziva tensed and whimpered. She tensed again and cried out. That same panic that always overwhelmed him when Ziva could be in danger took over and he wrapped his tired arm around her. Ziva relaxed and her breaths started to even out. Tony held her body tight against him. He stroked her arm with his finger. She relaxed and started snoring again. Relief washed over Tony. She was safe, she was warm, and she was sleeping in his arms. And god, how he loved those little snores. They sounded so perfect when she was pressed against his body, letting them vibrate throughout the both of them. Tony fell right to sleep. He'd never heard anything more beautiful than Ziva snoring in his arms.

Tony woke up to an angry Ziva calling his name in a demanding voice. She was sitting at the desk reading that document he'd written in the middle of the night.

"Tony! I always keep the safety on when I sleep with my gun."


End file.
